maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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