I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
