Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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