So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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