About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
