I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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