420 ftw
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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