I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
