**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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