Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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