but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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