never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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