He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
