dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
