i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
