Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
