Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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