Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
