Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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