On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She's the barista slut.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize