Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
