return my video game
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
