we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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