I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize