My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
