38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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