Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
