I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
