HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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