It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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