she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
50% drunk capacity currently
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
