We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize