Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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