That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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