and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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