Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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