Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
