All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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