He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
