so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
