Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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