I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Barsexuality is the new black.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
