apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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