She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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