hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
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you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
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buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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