he wants to bone in the snuggie
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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