i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
