her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
