Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
