Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are two peas in an std pod
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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