I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
