If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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