Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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