hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
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I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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