Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
