I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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