you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
