I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
